Done Apologizing
by Elize34
Summary: This basically takes place after 6x15. An angry, aggressive Castiel shows up unexpectedly in Dean's hotel room and he has got some things to say. Afterwards, things start to get awkward, especially because of the case they're working. Destiel
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I wrote this story because I was a bit fed up with Dean's attitude towards Castiel. I might also have been inspired by the famous Dean/Cas dark alley-wall scene. So here you have it, an angry, aggressive Castiel, who finally lets Dean know what he really thinks.**

**Done Apologizing**

Dean took a step towards Castiel, seemingly unimpressed by the hostility that clearly radiated from the angel. "What are you doing here Cas? I thought you were too busy up there in heaven to drop by or actually take the time to explain what the hell is going on there anyway." He looked expectedly at Castiel, but was taken aback by the dark look the other man shot him, eyes smoldering with barely contained anger.

"Uhm, you got something on your mind?" He paused, but after a while found it necessary to add in an irritated voice "Or will this be another one of those visits in which you tell me nothing useful at all?' These words seemed to make Castiel lose his last shred of self-control and before Dean could realize what was happening, he found himself pressed against the wall, Cas gripping his upper-arms so right, he couldn't move an inch.

"Woah Cas, way to get kinky there." Dean said with a smirk, that quickly faded when he started into the blue eyes before him. There was no sign of the compassion or reassurance that so often filled them, but only glimmered with an unfamiliar coldness. It was in rare moments like these, that Dean was remembered of who he was facing exactly, with Cas all being in I-am-an-angel-of-the-lord-and-could-smite-you-in-a-blink-of-the-eye-mode.

He would be lying is he said he didn't feel intimated right now. But Dean Winchester rarely felt intimated and he as hell did not let it show if he was, so he just continued to stare half-arrogantly at the other man, not surrendering to the chilling look.

"Think you can loosen your grip there buddy? You're kind of hurting me" Dean said, starting to get angry himself now. He looked down at Cas' hands, his fingers were boring through the fabric of his jacket. But Castiel gave no sign he had heard Dean's request, other than he maybe locked his hands even tighter around his arms. Dean focused his eyes on Castiel again, when the angel said in a grave and low tone, voice still thick with anger. "I am done apologizing." He said every word slow and deliberate, wanting to let the meaning come across loud and clear.

Dean looked questioningly at Cas, until he thought he'd caught on and he let out a small sigh. "You know what Cas, it's fine. I'm not that mad, just let go and we'll forget about it."He nodded encouragingly but was puzzled when he saw the incredulous look that Cas shot him.

"You failed to understand the meaning of my words. I was not sorry before and I certainly am not now." He leaned impossibly close to Dean, almost lifting the other man up against the wall as he stepped even nearer.

Dean could feel the warm breath on his face when he continued. "I rebelled for you. I even fell for you. I stood by you in the fight against Lucifer. And I have attempted to do nothing but ensure our fight was not futile." He growled, too low for Dean to hear if he would have been any further away from him.

"Don't you understand? It is the apocalypse that is at stake here? And yet every time I come here, to help you with your brother, the alphas or some demon, it never seems to be enough!" He practically shouted the last words, his flaming eyes piercing through Dean, who involuntarily shuddered at the sight. He wanted to look away, but couldn't. Castiel was filling up every last inch of his precious personal space.

"I am trying to win the war against Raphäel, doing everything in my power! I cannot and will not submit to your insignificant grumbling any longer." Castiel closed his eyes, trying to regain his composure now that he finally said what had been on his mind for months now.

Dean just continued to stare at him, taken by surprise by Cas' aggression and words. And he found he couldn't form a response.

A little while passed when the atmosphere suddenly started shifting. Castiel, after opening them, was flickering his eyes all over Dean's face, as if he had only just realized how close he exactly was to the hunter. He dropped his eyes, feeling nervous for the first time since he had entered the hotel room.

Dean tried to took advantage of the moment and started to try to loosen the grip on his arms. Castiel's head snapped upwards, his eyes still darkened, but not with anger this time.

"Do not move." He said, voice almost a whisper, the anger being replaced by a sort of possessiveness. Dean swallowed heavily, heart beating frantically. He was frozen, both in Cas' clasp on his arms and in his mind. His brain refused to function anymore, the only thing he could see or think was Castiel, he was everywhere.

Still pinned between the angel and the wall, he had nowhere to turn to when Castiel leaned in closer, painfully slow. And in truth, Dean didn't want to, even if he could. With the little room he had for movement, he found himself moving towards the big blue eyes that looked anxiously, but a lot softer than before, at him.

Dean realized in that moment how weird the situation was, but all he could focus on was the heat that radiated from Castiel, how close he was and how his scent clouded every rational thought. He closed his eyes, expecting the very much welcomed feeling of Castiel's lips against his. But suddenly he heard the familiar flutter of wings, and he found himself alone in the hotel room once again.

**A/N: I have no idea if I will continue this story, have a few ideas but it depens on the response I get. Also, English is not my first language and this is only my 2nd fanfiction I ever wrote, some feedback/reviews would be hugely appreciated. Seriously, I have no idea how good/bad this story is. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. It means a lot. Warning: there is a plot. *runs and hides***

**Chapter 2**

Dean slammed the door to his beloved Impala, immediately regretting his action. After all, it was not her fault he had been so agitated these last few days. He walked across the parking lot in a steady pace, until he reached the door to the crappy motel he and his brother were staying at.

Opening the door, he asked Sam, who was sitting behind his laptop, "Anything?" Sam turned to face him when he replied, "No, nothing yet. I just get off the phone with Bobby though, he has no new info but he did say he was going to call some of his contacts. Maybe they know something."Dean let out a sigh of annoyance. "Well, that's a whole pile of nothing."

He walked to the little fridge in the corner of the room. "You want one too?" He asked Sam, who was stretching his muscles, sore from doing research all night and day. 'Sure' he replied. Dean grabbed two beers and sat down at the table, facing his brother. "Look Dean," Sam began and Dean could tell from a mile away that he had been rehearsing this speech when he continued. "We've been in this town for four days now, and we're nowhere near figuring out where the witch is hiding. I just thought, maybe it's time we ask Cas for help." He looked expectedly at Dean, but his voice was resolute when he said "No."

Sam rolled his eyes. This had happened every time he had brought up the angel's name lately. He didn't know what had happened to make his brother react this way, but then again, Dean wasn't exactly one for talking about his feelings anyway."I am just saying, this isn't one of our normal gigs, nothing we've tried has worked. Don't you think it's about time you shove aside whatever reason you have for not asking the guy for help before another innocent person gets hurt?"

Dean saw the concerned look on Sam's face and couldn't help but smile a little. He had missed his brother being this way, compassionate and well…soulful. That didn't mean, however, that he wanted to go along with his idea. Sam gave him a scrutinizing look, trying to figure out what was going on that made Dean not want to ask Castiel for help.

Truth was, Dean would not even allow himself to think much about the angel, because that always resulted in one of those chick-flick moments he hated so much. But after the events of last week, Dean, normally the master of burying stuff deep inside and never talk about them again, had a hard time not thinking about what had happened.

Castiel had been genuinely angry with him, and Dean supposed he could sort of understand that, not that he would let Cas know that. Not after pushing him against the wall and especially not after the confusing stuff he had done. Like almost kissing him, and him almost kissing back….

"Stop right there!" He told himself. "You were _not_ almost kissing an angel of the freakin' lord! You aren't even sure what the hell happened. It has just been another time Cas had misunderstood the concept of personal space. Yes, that must be it." Dean was pretty happy with the conclusion he had reached, but why did he still feel so confused…agitated even?

All these thoughts transpired in a matter of seconds and Dean found Sam was still looking at him, so he averted his eyes while saying, "Fine, pray to him all you want." "I doubt he will even show." He added in a sour tone. Sam scoffed a bit but closed his eyes.

"Castiel," he began, "Uhm, so we've been working this case involving a lot of blood-drained bodies and this witch we can't seem to track down. Basically, we have no new leads whatsoever and we could really use your help, please. We're staying at the Oceanic hotel in Omaha, room 16." Sam opened one eye, glancing around the room and he smiled appreciatively when he saw Castiel had appeared in the corner.

He turned to his brother with an "I knew he'd come!" But Dean was not paying attention to him. He was wrapped up in another one of those intense gazing contests with Cas, who refused to look anywhere else but directly at the hunter. From the look he was giving him, Dean could clearly see some of the hostility still lingered in his blue eyes. Cursing himself, Dean was the first one to break the eye-contact. Staring at the angel for even just a second more had somehow become too uncomfortable to stand.

Sam didn't seem to notice the awkwardness but was waiting for Castiel to step a bit closer to the table. Cas, however, remained stoically standing in the corner, eyes fixed on Dean at all times. Even though Dean was now staring at a stain on the wall as if it was the most intriguing thing he had ever seen, he could still sense the Cas' eyes on him.

Dean jumped from his chair, knocking it over in his anxiousness to get away from the stare. "Just getting a drink" he grumbled as he hastily put the chair upright again. He walked to the fridge, planning to grab a beer but remembered he still had a full bottle on the table, so he settled for a glass of water instead.

In the meantime, Sam had finally succeeded in getting Cas' attention and was now bringing him up-to-date on their latest case. "So far there have been eight dead bodies in the last two years. Gender, age, ethnicity, they don't have anything in common. Except for one thing: all the bodies were completely drained of blood. And get this, we found hex-bags at all the sites, but have no idea what to make of them."

"May I see them?" Castiel asked, after he had stepped closer to the table. Sam nodded and placed the bags on the plastic surface. Castiel carefully opened one of them and intently stared at the content for about five minutes.

Even while standing next to the sink, Dean could hear him softly muttering words that sounded a lot like Enochian. He secretly loved it when Cas was wrapped up in angelic language, eyes closed and a peaceful smile on his lips. Dean shifted uneasily, he had just looked at the angel for a little too long.

Finally Castiel opened his eyes, a dazed look on his face, as if his thoughts were still miles away. "I believe I know what creature is murdering these humans." He paused, fingers absent-mindedly tracing the bags. "Care to enlighten us?" Dean shot at him. Cas ignored him as he turned to Sam. "Bacchae, that's the creature you are searching for." Sam looked confused. "From ancient times? I thought we were dealing with a witch." "Well you are," Castiel replied, "Bacchae are one of the oldest, most powerful types of witches. Little is known about their existence nowadays."

Sam nodded understandingly. Dean, however, was still very much clueless. "Sorry to interrupt on your little nerd-conversation, but I have no idea what you're talking about." He said annoyed, as he walked back to the others. He looked expectedly at Sam, who immediately launched into explanatory-mode.

"Okay, so according to the myths, Bacchae were female followers of the Roman god Bacchus. You would have liked him, Dean, he was kind of the party-god. So these woman would lose themselves to pleasure until they basically went insane. It is said that some of them went so far, they lost their humanity and were forced to wander the earth, trying to satisfy their desire."

Dean sighed, "Okay, great but what's the deal with the blood then?" Sam was lost in thought for a moment until he said, "No idea, I come up blank" and looked at Castiel who had picked up his favourite activity of staring at Dean in the mean time. "Uhm, Cas, do you maybe have a theory?" Dean said, feeling uncomfortable again."I do but I cannot be certain until I visit the location of the probable enchantment." Castiel replied. Dean, eager to get out of the room, grabbed the keys to the Impala and shouted "Alright, let's go!"

**A/N: I know, not a lot of Destiel in this chapter. I am just really trying to write in character. As much as I want Dean to run to Castiel while shouting "I love you!" it would just not be believable. So bear with me on this one. There will be a lot of Destiel to come, I am just trying to write the story in character as much as possible. If you could review and let me know what you think, that would be so so so great!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Done Apologizing, chapter 3**

**A/N Sorry it took me this long to update. I found this chapter incredibly difficult to write. Still not too happy about it, but I just want to continue the story.**

**Hope you guys enjoy!**

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><p>Dean was already in the driver´s seat of the Impala, loud rock music blasting from the radio and windows strolled down when he heard Sam and Castiel approaching.<p>

Sam slid in the seat next to him, but he didn´t hear Castiel opening the door. Impatiently he looked out of the window but was startled when he suddenly found the angel in the backseat already. Sam chuckled, "Still haven't heard of a door-handle, have you?" Castiel, however, ignored him and said sullenly, "I do not appreciate this type of transportation. It is much too confining."

"Yeah, well, our case, our ride." Dean said, while looking in his rear-view mirror. Somehow seeing Cas in the backseat of his car, with a pouting expression, made him smile. He didn't look powerful or impressive now and Dean started happily humming along to the song that was playing as the engine came to life with a loud purr.

They drove in silence for a while, Sam busy reading an old book on Latin mythology and Castiel lost in thought as he stared solemnly at the back of the driver's seat.

Just as the part of the song with the awesome guitar solo came on and Dean had started to drum along with his hands on the steering-wheel, Sam turned to his brother with an annoyed expression. "Do you mind? I am trying to read." "No, I don't mind" Dean replied as he shot him a smug smile. Sam scoffed a bit and sighed unhappily but decided against arguing, he just wanted to continue reading.

Dean went on drumming enthusiastically along, completely focused on the rhythm of the music when all of the sudden the radio gave out. "What the...?" He said as he ticked with his fingers against the radio, but it remained silent. "Sonofbitch what's wrong with this thing!" He had started shouting now.

"At least it is quiet now." A low voice behind him said. Dean immediately glanced angrily over his shoulder and hissed "Did you do this?" Castiel looked away from Dean and stared innocently out of the window when he replied, "Do what exactly?" "Breaking my damn radio! You. Do. Not. Mess. With. My. Car." He said every word distinctively, aggression clearly audible in his tone. Cas looked Dean straight in the eye again, a small, almost teasing, smile around his lips when he said "It is nothing by my wrongdoing, your automobile is simply old. It was very probably something would break."

"Seems to me like you've put quite some thought in it" Dean replied, not buying the story for one second. "Be mad at me all you want, but keep your hands from my car!" He yelled. Sam rolled his eyes, thinking how is brother was clearly overreacting when he saw how they were now driving on the other lane. Not too far ahead he could see an other car speeding right towards them.

"Dean! The road!" He shouted. Dean quickly grabbed the steering wheel and made a sharp turn, just avoiding the oncoming, loud-honking car. With a gasp of relief he stopped the car at the side of the road, but the feeling of relief quickly turned into one of anger again. He turned to face Castiel, who had remained unmoved under the events.

"See what you did? We could have died!" Dean's tone was thick with adrenaline and he only got more frustrated when the angel didn't speak but just continued to stare at Dean, a glint of amusement in his eyes. Dean was about to yell some more when he saw his brother's infamous bitch-face. "Seriously, what the hell is going on between you two?" Sam asked with a scoff.

"Nothing, okay." Dean replied, willing his voice to become calmer. He really didn't feel like dealing with Sam's prying questions right now, or ever for that matter so he decided to change the subject. "Just… never mind." He paused. "Did you discover anything new in that book you were reading?" Sam sighed and looked unhappily at the book that was lying in his lap. "Not much, just that these Bacchae have rituals to practice their power. But that still doesn't explain the blood-draining."

Sam turned his attention to Castiel. "Is that why you need to go to the place where one of the bodies was found? Because you think it's the same location as that of the ritual?"

"Yes." Castiel replied. "Bacchae are bound to the specific site they picked for their ritual. If I am at that exact site, I should be able to detect their power and work out where the Bacchae is hiding."

Dean, happy they were on a safe subject again, started the car. Though some of that happiness did disappear when he remembered why the radio stayed silent. Still, Sam and Cas were now busy discussing different theories about the case so Dean could have a moment to himself, to try to recollect his thoughts.

He was sure Castiel had messed with his radio. He really wasn't going to let it go, was he. Dean grinded his teeth. Well he sure as hell was not going to give in and get all soppy and apologise. He almost flinched at the thought alone.

Dean focused on the road again, glad to discover they were very nearly there. He pulled up on the driveway next to the deserted and neglected building that once served as a warehouse. "Alright, let's get inside so Cas can work his mojo and we can finally hunt the witch bitch down." "Bacchae" Sam corrected as he walked towards the building. "Know-all." Dean muttered but followed Sam through the door, Castiel had already teleported himself inside.

"Pff Cas, you really are getting lazy." Dean shot at him, as soon as he entered the dim-lit room. The only light came through the small, mostly shattered windows. Castiel turned around, a look of annoyance on his face because Dean had broken his concentration.

"Oh, sorry" Dean said, obviously not meaning it.

Castiel looked back to the spot where the body had been found and closed his eyes with a serious look on his face. Just as he was lowering himself to the ground, Dean said with a grin, "So, what exactly are you going to do now?" Castiel's head snapped towards Dean again.

"Will you be quiet?" He growled. Dean nodded slowly, satisfied with the reaction he had gotten and went to stood next to Sam.

Castiel kneeled on the ground, hands hovering above the concrete surface and softly started whispering in Enochian.

Just as Dean was wondering how long Castiel would need for his little Angelic spell, he noticed something was wrong. The look on Cas' face was strained and suddenly his eyes opened, wide with shock. He turned to the Winchesters, trying to shout something, but it was already too late.

Before he could realise what was happening, Dean found himself flying through the air until he landed on the painfully hard floor. Confused he opened one eye, finding Sam in the same state as he was in. In the middle of the room, he could see blurring images, flashes even. After a little while of trying to make sense of these flashes, he realised one of them was Castiel, moving with inhuman speed.

Dean scrambled on hands and knees before he stood up. Still dazed from the impact of him and the floor, he staggered towards Sam, helping him up. As soon as they were both standing, they rushed towards Castiel, who was now being circled by two long-haired women.

Well, Dean used the word women, since he didn't know how else to describe them. They both were wearing ragged robes, their hair was a dirty blond colour that looked like it hadn't been combed in quite some time. The most striking feature, however, were their eyes. They burned with a flaming red shade. Dean's mind flashed to one of the images he had seen in Sam's book that afternoon. "Bacchae" He whispered to himself.

He and Sam had almost reached Castiel when Dean saw Cas was focused on the Bacche that was standing closest to him, unaware of the other one that was in a crouched position, ready to attack the angel. Dean had no other idea how to make Castiel aware of the incoming attack without making himself vulnerable to the other. So he did the only thing he could think of and he launched himself towards the crouching Bacche, slamming into her with a loud bang.

Momentarily distracted, the other Bacche turned towards Dean, allowing Cas to race towards her, cutting off the larger part of the room.

While Sam and Castiel were now trying to corner her, the other one had focused her full attention on Dean. He was lying on the floor once again when two hands gripped his jacket tight and threw him a couple of yards back. Dean could feel blood gushing down his head and tried to open his eyes again. He saw the Bacche leaning towards him and he could hear her hissing over and over again the same words. "So... hungry." Her blood red eyes bored into Dean's, as if searching for something. Dean tried to fight her off but he was lacking the strength. He already had problems with trying to stay conscious.

The Bacche placed her hand on his chest, right above his heart and Dean could feel the pressure in the muscle rising. From the corner of his eye, he could see Castiel and Sam had succeeded in cornering the other Bacche and under a loud shrieking, Cas placed his hands on her head.

Dean's vision became blurred, his heart was beating frantically and he literally could hear his blood pumping through his veins. And there was the white light he had been expecting, so bright he had to close his eyes. He could hear the lifeless body of the Bacche across the room fall down on the floor. But even hearing had become almost impossible, blood pounding in his ears. The last thing he heard before passing out was Castiel roaring his name.

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><p><strong>AN**

**Quite a long chapter, not much Destiel I know. I just need the plot to make the story believable. Like I said, not really happy how this turned out. If you have any suggestions/tips/criticism/opinions, please review. It means so much to me. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I am truly sorry for not updating sooner. Was on a trip with school in Istanbul and when I returned I caught an infection. Anyway, enough about me, here is the new chapter. Oh, before I forget, thank you so much for the reviews, I would have given up on this story a long time ago if it wasn't for you guys!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

Castiel was at Dean's side immediately, leaving Sam bewildered next to the lifeless body of the Bacche. Castiel had his arms stretched out, ready to smite the second Bacche as well but he came just an instant too late. All that could be heard was a ghostly chuckle that was left lingering in the air.

Running after her was the least of Cas' concerns though. He hastily kneeled down next to an unconscious Dean. He was in terrible shape, blood was still gushing down his pale face and above his heart the fabric of his shirt was sizzling, as if the Bacche burned right through it to reach his heart.

"Dean!" Castiel shouted. "Wake up!" But Dean showed no reaction. Gently, Castiel placed his hands on Dean's head, planning on fully healing him, but as soon as his fingertips had made contact with Dean's skin he withdrew them quickly. Touching Dean had sent an almost painful wave of warmth through his hands.

"What is wrong with him? Damn it Cas, heal him!" San had run over to them and was now looking anxiously at the angel, not understanding why he hadn't worked his normal mojo.

"I can't...your brother is burning up...It is affecting my powers in a way I do not understand." Castiel stuttered, shocked from the heat that still coursed through his body and his inability to heal Dean. Sam shoved aside Castiel and carefully started shaking Dean's shoulders with one hand while checking his temperature with the other.

"What the hell are you talking about? He's not burning up at all!"

Castiel frowned and brought his hand to Dean. He traced the back of Dean's hand with his index finger, again feeling the burning sensation that shot through him like an arrow. Castiel wrapped his entire hand around Dean's, trying very hard to ignore the foreign scorching feeling, when suddenly the hunter's eyes snapped open.

Loud gasping Dean sat upright, eyes wide and a look on his face as if he just had woken up from a terrible nightmare. "Dean!" Sam let out a sigh of relief. Dean turned confused to his brother. "Cas?", he managed to croak out. But when Sam said "no, it is Sam" a look of complete bewilderment came over him. "Cas?" he yelled. Castiel, in the meantime, had just stared at him with open mouth like he had never laid eyes on Dean before.

The angel didn't know what had come over him, but it was as if he was forced to look at Dean, just the thought of looking away sent a cold sting through his body. Sam snapped his fingers in front of Dean. "Cas is right there..." with his other hand he gestured towards Castiel who was now intently staring down at his hand, fingers entwined with Dean's.

The longer he was touching Dean's skin the stronger the heat had become and Castiel found the feeling very pleasant, so pleasant he actually ached for more.

He placed his other hand on Dean's shoulder, desperately seeking eye-contact and Dean turned to him, eyes glimmering with the same glow as Cas'.

As soon as they had made eye-contact, however, Dean's vision become blurred again. His head was pounding from all the falling and being knocked around. Even the warming sensation he was feeling could not fight the darkness any longer and he slipped into unconsciousness again.

Sam looked at his brother and Castiel in astonishment. He didn't have the slightest idea what was going on but rushed over just in time to grab Dean's shoulders to ensure he would not hit his head on the concrete floor. In the process, Cas had lost contact with Dean's body and the glowing feeling was being replaced by a cold ache, an emptiness that made him long for the heat to come back.

"What the hell is going on?" Sam shouted to Cas, who was still dazed from the sensation that touching Dean had caused. "I...I am not certain, I mean... I don't know." His words had come out slurred. "What do we do now?" Sam was trying to stay calm but the worry for his brother was clear in his eyes and his voice trembled, even if only in the slightest.

Staggering, Castiel stood upright, his eyes never leaving Dean. He carefully listened to the pounding of Dean's heart and a small smile appeared on his face when he heard a regular rhythm. "Dean is alright, he seems to be resting. I suggest we take him to Bobby. We'll think of our next course of action there." Sam nodded, feeling relieved they at least had a plan and even more so that Dean was not in mortal danger. For the time being at least.

Getting an unconscious Dean back to the Impala was a difficult task, but luckily Sam's height and strength were now of good use as he carried his brother to the car. Castiel walked a few paces behind him, lost in thought. He thought back of when he had confronted Dean in the hotel room, how he had felt when he'd found himself pressing Dean up again the wall.

Although Castiel has been around for a long, very long time, giving in to feelings, or feeling at all was relatively new to him. As much as the feeling that came over him, whenever he was around Dean, thrilled him, it scared him even more.

He couldn't tell exactly when the confusing feelings had started. Was it when he had first laid eyes on Dean in the depths of hell? Was it when the hunter had let him see his most vulnerable side, as he laid broken and shattered in the hospital bed? Perhaps it was when Dean had opened Cas' eyes to show there was more than blind obedience, that there was freedom and choice.

Castiel dropped his head, he didn't know. He only knew those feelings terrified him and how he was sure Dean didn't seem to share those feelings anyway.

Sadness washed over him and he suddenly felt like screaming. What was going on with him? For some reasons he found he couldn't push his feelings to the background anymore, as he usually did. Everything felt intensified. Sadness, doubt, confusion and longing. But above all the feeling of terror and Castiel was sure he had never felt more human. He also knew that there was something weird going on and that he should try to stay away from Dean.

Sam had reached the car and carefully lay his brother in the backseat. Cas had his hands on the door-handle of the passenger seat already, planning on sitting as far from Dean as possible when Sam turned to face him. "Cas, could you sit in the back with Dean? There's a first-aid kit there and someone has to take care of his wounds while I am driving."

Castiel looked at the ground, hesitating. The thought of placing his hands on Dean's face and being so close to him dispelled the cold ache in his chest that had settled there as soon as he had lost physical contact with Dean. However, the pleasant warm feeling had also scared him, he had felt out of control and vulnerable. The urge to take care of Dean won, however, and he slid in the backseat, placing Dean's legs on his lap so he had a good access to the still bleeding wounds.

Sam started the car and violently stepped on the gas pedal. Driving to Bobby would take two hours at least, even when driving three times fast than the speed limit.

While Sam was completely focused on driving as fast as he could, Castiel grabbed a bottle of water and a towel that he found in the backseat. The warming, vibrant feeling had returned and Cas found his hands were shaking with anticipation as he struggled to pour some water on the towel without spilling it on Dean.

He failed, some water had fallen on Dean's face which was dripping from his cheek to his jaw. Castiel swallowed heavily at the sight. It was going to be a long drive.

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><p><strong>AN: Yeah... not sure how this chapter turned out. It seemed a bit off in places. If you could please review to let me know what you thought of it, that would be great. Seriously, reviews make me equally happy as when Cas invades Dean's personal space :) **

**Quick side-note: thanks to my awesome sister, HannaK3, who helped me tremendously with this chapter, I would not have updated if it wasn't for her.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N. Sorry for not updating sooner. I have not forgotten about the story at all but things have been hectic and writing did not go so well. On the other hand, this chapter is rather long. I hope that makes up a bit for my absence. Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5 'Edge of Desire'<strong>

Dean was still lying unconscious in the backseat of the Impala with Castiel huddled above him, frantically trying to clean Dean's wounds as fast as he could. After Castiel had stopped the bleeding and had disinfected the wounds he put the first-aid kit back underneath the seat. He let out a sharp breath and raised his hands quickly, away from Dean's face, afraid that if he had let them linger, he would be able to think straight at all anymore.

He took another deep breath. He knew something was off, not that he had the illusion that he didn't have feelings for Dean, because he did, he realized that himself too. But what he was feeling right now, like his heart was about to leap out of his chest because he was so close to Dean. Not to mention the unfamiliar warming glowing feeling that had settled in his chest and the cold ache he'd felt when he did not have contact with Dean…that was definitely not normal.

Castiel was letting his minder wander over all the possibilities that could have caused this but then Dean started stirring slightly in his sleep. This immediately caught Castiel's attention and he found himself staring at the man that lay sprawled over his lap. As if hypnotized Castiel watched him, how his chest slowly rose and fell with each breath he took, how his shirt clung extremely well to his body and most of all how he licked his lips every now and then.

Castiel did not know how long he had been staring but with an immense effort he willed himself to look away, eyes now glued to the roof of the Impala. Suddenly he heard an almost inaudible gasp, and there the sound was again. Cas could not help but look back at Dean.

The hunter was clearly dreaming and from the look on his face he was enjoying himself too.

But maybe Castiel was just imagining that, just as he was maybe just imagining how the corners of Dean's mouth twitched and how his breathing had become irregular. Heat was rising to Cas' cheeks, clearly he was going insane. Desperately he tried to turn his attention elsewhere when the gasps turned into words. Castiel froze, he had probably heard it wrong. His heart was beating loudly as he waited to hear if the sound would repeat itself.

"..Cas." Dean sighed happily in his sleep. Castiel gulped, he had heard it correctly the first time, Dean was dreaming, about him and from the looks of it, it was very pleasant tried to move away from Dean, it was all a bit too much for him to handle, he felt like he could combust at any second. He leaned away as much as the confining space of the car allowed him and his head hit the corner of the roof, cheek resting against the cold window.

This seemed to calm him down a little and to distract himself even more he began to softly mutter prayers in Enochian. Decades and decades of denying most thought and feelings finally paid off and since Dean has now stopped talking in his sleep, Cas found it easier to escape in his thoughts about heaven. Not that the vibrant feeling had subsided, not at all but finally being able to be this close to Dean seemed to be enough, for now at least.

It was not long after that Sam stopped the car as they had arrived at Bobby's. The old hunter, having heard the Impala pull up the scrap yard, hurried towards the car. Sam opened the passengers door and tried to carefully get Dean out of the backseat. He felt worried, his brother was still unconscious but he glad at least his wounds were taken care of.

Castiel tried to help were he could, gently pushing Dean out. His fingers lingered on his shoulders longer than necessary, until Sam and Bobby, who immediately saw that they needed to get Dean inside, were carrying him to the house.

Cas let out a sharp hiss, he was pretty far from Dean now as he was still in the car and the cold ache spread through his entire chest again, intensifying by each passing he strode after the other men, wanting to regain closer contact with Dean, anything to make the icy feeling stop.

"What is wrong with him?" Bobby asked, worry colouring his tone. Sam pushed the front door open with his foot when he answered, a bit out of breath from supporting his brother. "We were ambushed. There were two Bacchae, instead of one. Castiel and I were dealing with one, but the other one, she got hold of Dean and knocked him around." They arrived in the living room and Bobby and Sam gently lay Dean on the couch.

Sam stretched his back and turned to Bobby as he continued. "So we killed one, but the other one escaped. She also did something to Cas' powers, he wasn't able to heal Dean." Bobby looked incredulous at Sam. "A Bacche affecting an angel's power? Never heard of that one before. But how's Dean?" "According to Cas he is asleep. I guess he's just shaken up from all the falling. Sam looked anxiously at his brother, but he did smile a little now he saw he was at least comfortable. "Well, at least now we know what we're dealing with. That'll make research go a hell of a lot faster." Bobby said while looking down at Dean with affection. Sam nodded 'Yeah, we should be able to track her down fast."

Suddenly Bobby looked back at the couch, not at Dean this time, but at Castiel who was now sitting on his knees behind the couch, only his head visible above the edge. "What the hell is it you're doing?" He shot him. "Keeping an eye on Dean." The angel replied simply, completely focused on staring intently at Dean. Sam scoffed a bit but soon realized Cas was dead serious. "Uhm, alright Cas, You go ahead and stay with Dean. Bobby and I will be in the next room. If there is any change, you'll give us a shout right?" Sam asked, eager to bury himself in books to stop himself from going crazy from worrying over Dean. Castiel nodded, eyes never leaving Dean as the other two men walked into the other room.

He felt conflicted. On the one hand he longed to be as close to Dean as possible, to actually touch him, on the other hand the feeling scared him. He had compromised by letting a couch separate the two of them but he had allowed himself to watch Dean as he still lay sleeping,

All of a sudden Dean rolled over, body almost pressed to the back of the couch, as if he too longed to be closer to the angel. The feeling inside Castiel started frantically buzzing, happy it felt like it was finally getting acknowledged. It was as if there was a magnet in Cas' chest. Its magnetism increasing every time he got closer to Dean and the metal growing painfully cold whenever he was at a distance.

Encouraged by the feeling, Cas slowly raised himself until his head was hovering over the edge. Big blue eyes stared at the hunter, studying every detail of the hunter like he had done many times before. But did Dean's cheekbones always were this perfect shape? Did the breaths Dean took through his slightly parted lips had always sounded this good? Castiel sighed, happily wrapped up in the moment, thoughts of fear finally forgotten for the time being.

Suddenly Dean's eyes snapped open, immediately making contact with Castiel's. Instinct took over and not expecting the close proximity, Dean backed away. He hadn't realized he had been lying on the couch though, and with a muffled "sonofabitch," he fell on the floor.

"Dean!" Castiel shouted and hurried towards Dean, who was laying sprawled on the carpet, a dazed look on his face. He kneeled down next to him, looking very anxious. "Dean…are you alright?" Dean blinked, planning on saying "yes I am fine" when he caught hold of Castiel's gaze.

Electricity sparked the room, atmosphere becoming heavy as Dean continued to look at Cas and Castiel swallowed heavily at the sight. If the vivacious feeling had been almost impossible to control when Dean has been unconscious, it was nothing to now that he was awake and eyeing him with the same mix of longing and shock.

Slowly Dean began sitting upright, captivating Castiel with every movement he made. Dean felt very, very confused. He didn't remember anything from after the Bacche had placed her hand on his chest. All he knew was that he had woken up to Castiel's intense stare and that he had the burning desire to just touch the angel.

Dean closed his eyes, trying to compose himself but all he could focus on was the presence of Castiel, so very close to him, yet somehow still not close enough for his liking. For a moment he let his thoughts wander, on what it would be like to ran his hands through Cas' dark hair. What it would be like to pull him close and most of all what it would be like to capture his mouth with his.

The feeling inside him rejoiced at the thought alone and urged him to just act on it. He tried to push the feeling to the background, but found he just couldn't. He opened his eyes and found Cas was staring at his lips, the faint blush on his cheeks suggesting he had shared exactly the same thought.

As Dean has been unconscious for the last few hours, the sensations coursing through every fiber of his body felt impossible to ignore. "Cas?" Dean managed to croak out, turning his name into a question. Castiel nodded understandingly, "I know Dean. I am aware of it too."

And for some reason Dean noticed the slightest of changes. How the tone of his voice had become even more lower than usual and how his eyes shimmered more darkly than usual.

He found himself very near Castiel, his scent clouding his thoughts again as had happened in the hotel room a few days back. It was a scent the hunter could not place. It was something from a different world, clear and pure. Like heaven, he suddenly realized.

Somewhere in the back of his head he registered that something was wrong. That something had caused him to feel like this. That there was a force stronger than himself at work. But, unlike Castiel, he had had no time to adjust to the new feeling at all and the closeness of Cas made everything overwhelming.

Very deliberately he brought his hand to Cas' face, not being able to fight the urge to touch him any longer. His fingertips touched Cas' cheeks and immediately a warmth flooded through his entire body. It was one of the most pleasant feelings Dean has ever had. It was the feeling as if everything was, is and always will be okay. His brain disconnected from his body, reveling in the feeling completely. The sensation was everywhere, there was simply no room for thoughts. Dean spread his entire hand, cupping Cas' cheek and the angel involuntarily leaned in to the touch, closing his eyes.

"Wow…" Dean whispered at the feeling that was coursing through him and seemed to intensify by the second. All of the sudden they heard a loud crash from the other room. Sam or Bobby must have dropped something and Cas snapped his eyes open. He seemed to come around and started realizing what was happening and he backed away from Dean. He cursed himself, but doubt and fear were having the upper-hand once again. Dean's brain, however, still refused to catch up with what was happening and only cared for the heat to come back.

Dean scrambled to his feet, legs still unsteady as he tried to walk after Castiel who was now standing in a corner. He refused to look at Dean, willing himself to recollect his thoughts that had been shattered from the moment Dean has regained consciousness.

Dean was not thinking anything at all, however, besides of how he should be closer to Cas and he took a big step in his direction. Suddenly he heard the familiar flutter of wings and Castiel had disappeared.

The reaction was instantaneous, the haze in his mind vanished and coldness shot through him. With a groan he fell on his knees, head in his hands, not being able to fight back the pain. Everything around him seemed painfully clear and razor-sharp. It was like a migraine, only this pain was not just in his head. It was a pain he felt in every vein of his body. He could actually feel the cold wrapping around his heart like an iron fist, making it almost impossible to breathe.

In the other room, Sam looked up from the book he had been reading and faced Bobby. "Did you hear that?" Bobby nodded and quickly they got up from their chairs.

They found Dean still on his knees, on the floor, clearly in agony. As soon as Sam wanted to run over to him, he saw Cas appearing in the corner of the room. The position in which Cas had come into the room was almost an exact copy of Dean's. The angel was also on his knees, hands clutching his hands.

Dean dropped his hands, and looked at Cas who did the same. They both shared a look of extreme relief, clearly the pain had subsided. Sam looked at his brother and then to Cas, and then back to his brother again. "Seriously, what the hell is going on here?"

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><p><strong>AN …..So, what do you guys think? I am not sure, it feels like it is not flowing well. If you see any (grammar/stylistic) mistakes, please let me know. If you could let me know what you thought, maybe in regard to how you find the direction where this story is going, that would mean so so so much to me. **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N **

**First of all, thank you so much to everyone who is reading this and reviewing, it means the world. Second of all, sorry for not updating sooner. Last few weeks have been very busy but I finally managed to write another chapter. I hope this explains some of the stuff that is going on in the story and I hope you guys are still interested in this story.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6 "White blank page" <strong>

To say the whole situation was awkward would be an understatement. Dean was still on the floor, eyeing Castiel with relief now that the excruciating pain had stopped. Sam looked at the two of them with confusion and cleared his throat. "Really, what is going on?" He said again.

He looked at Cas for an explanation but the angel was too busy looking at Dean with a mixture of shock and…adoration. Sam turned to Bobby, but the older hunter just shrugged his shoulders. "What are ya looking at me for? I don't have a clue."

Suddenly Castiel seemed to come to his senses again and gracefully he stood upright. Without saying one word, he slowly walked to the corner of the room while Dean, Bobby and Sam looked at him curiously. The closer Cas came to the corner, the more distressed the look on his face became, a look mirrored on Dean's face.

Castiel stood still in the corner, his breathing had become heavier and he protectively had brought his hands to his chest. Dean made a low grunting noise, finally understanding what Castiel was doing. "Stop it Cas, we get it. Now come back over here," he said through clenched teeth. Castiel slowly nodded and made his way back to Dean, both sharply exhaling when they were close to each other again.

"Get what?" Sam demanded, he still had no clue what was going on and he wanted to know what was causing his brother to be in pain. "It seems.." Castiel began, "that whenever I am apart from Dean…I experience a physical pain. But when I am close to Dean that pain is replaced by a pleasant feeling." "Exceedingly more pleasant than I usually get" he added casually after a little pause.

Dean stared at him with his mouth open, trying to figure out if he had heard those last words correctly. Sam and Bobby now turned his attention to Dean. "What about you Dean?" Bobby asked, not sure what to think of Cas' words. "Well…yeah, for me a well" Dean replied while looking at the ground. "I mean, it started when I woke up a few minutes ago. I don't know what is going on either but it sucks" he said in annoyed tone.

Castiel dropped his eyes, of course Dean would hate this situation. After all, Dean didn't want to be close to him, not like he himself did. All was quiet in the room, everyone was lost in their own thoughts until Castiel spoke again.

"When I left earlier, I went to White-Russia to…calm myself. As soon as I arrived there the pain was incapable to cope with. It was nothing like I had ever experienced. I am an angel, I do not normally experience physical pain, not like this. It is very unsettling." "It's not like I'm used to this either Cas." Dean snapped at him, feeling more uncomfortable by the second. The burning sensation constantly urging Dean to touch Castiel, to be as close to him as possible, did not help the situation much either.

Castiel felt anger rising but before he could act on it, Bobby spoke, his eyes bright as if he just understood something. "Hang on, I think I know what is going on. All this started after the Bacchae attacked right?" Both Castiel and Dean nodded. "I think I read something about those damn witches, Wait, let me show ya."

They all followed Bobby to his desk, that was completely covered in books. Bobby shoved aside some of them until he found what he was looking for. He opened an old, frayed book somewhere in the middle at the section that said in an ancient handwriting 'Vis Bacchae'. "Those feelings you two described, the uhm.. well, need to be close to each other. I think we're dealing with this spell." Bobby pointed at a small paragraph on the yellowed page labeled 'voluptates'.

"Desire?" Sam asked incredulous but with amusement. Dean shot a nervous glance at Castiel when Bobby continued. "Yeah, well, it says here that there are these myths of Bacchae placing spells of desire on their victims. That way, their blood becomes tasty to them. After chasing after desire for so long, it is the only way they can still feel it. They let their victims stew for a little while and when the spell has completely taken them over, the Bacchae come for them and suck their blood."

"So that is why the bodies were completely drained of blood?" Sam said understandingly. "Does it say how long it takes before the Bacchae come looking for you after they placed the spell on you?" He asked while looking over Bobby's shoulder. "Apparently two to three days" the older hunter replied.

"Great. So I got what? Two days before some old witch comes after me to drink my blood. All the while I get tortured by these damn feelings? This is just perfect." Dean said angrily. Sam could see his brother was about to lose it. Getting tortured by demos and angry spirits Dean could take, but having a physical attraction to Castiel, being unable to not show it, that was about as worse as it could get.

"Don't worry, we'll get to that witch before she can get to you. We'll figure it out, promise." Sam said reassuringly, trying to calm his brother but Dean just shook his head and walked out of the room. He halted at the kitchen when he noticed Castiel had instinctively followed him, to prevent the pain from coming back.

"What are you doing" Dean shouted at him while turning around. "I… I do not know" Castiel answered truthfully, gazing in Dean's eyes as he spoke. Dean averted his eyes, being overwhelmed by the blue colour in the eyes before him. He was not handling this situation well at all. "Well, stop it! You are not making this any easier alright?" Castiel tilted his head in the way only he could and damn it, Dean had to admit it looked adorable. Mentally he cursed himself, calling Castiel adorable, even in his head, was not something he would ever do… but he just had.

"What am I doing to make this worse Dean?" Castiel asked genuinely. "Just…. Never mind alright?" Dean snapped, still not looking at Cas directly. "You always portray this type of behavior" Cas said thoughtfully. "What behavior?" Dean said, clearly getting irritated. "Like in the hotel room a few days ago, you couldn't…." But Castiel couldn't finish his sentence because Dean interrupted him. "I don't know what the hell you were about to say, but there is absolutely nothing to talk about. Nothing happened at all, apart from you acting like a moron."

Castiel flinched ever so slightly, but not long enough for Dean to have noticed it. He recollected himself almost immediately, and continued to stare at Dean. "No. I will not drop this. I may just be an angel with almost no experience of what it is like to feel like this, to feel human, but in the hotel room… I could have sworn…." Castiel paused for the briefest time, his eyes locking with Dean's, "I could have sworn…something was there." He looked at the ground, confused by his own words. "I am sorry, I do not know another way to put it."

Dean was taken aback by his words, never before had Castiel spoke so openly to him. Dean did register how vulnerable the angel must feel right now and Cas was looking very nervously at him. Although Cas' words surprised him, Dean reacted almost immediately but as soon as he said the words, he wish he hadn't. "For the last time you overgrown drama-queen, nothing was going on, and nothing will be. So how about you just stop whining to me about your feelings alright?"

The feeling inside him buzzed unhappily at his words, and even without that feeling telling him that, he knew he made a mistake. Castiel gave him one last look before stepping back, a stoic look on his face that Dean knew so well from when they had only just known each other a short time.

"I believe I was mistaken in my assumptions. I shall not mention it again. I am going to Bobby and Sam now to help them with their research. Hopefully we can put an end to this … unfortunate situation soon." Castiel slowly walked back to Bobby's desk, Dean following him but maintaining quite a bit of distance.

Dean felt terrible, he didn't know where his words had come from, but it was too late to take them back. He just couldn't deal with all this right now, not with his head swirling with confusing thoughts and that damn feeling taking over his head. He took a deep breath and picked up one of the books on the desk and started reading, his mind not registering a single word.

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><p><strong>AN**

**Sorry, this story had to take this turn. Just bear with me on this one. I do have it planned out. I am actually really quite nervous/interested in what you guys think of this chapter, now you know (sort of) what is going on with Dean & Cas. Love it? Hate it? Any suggestions/remarks? Please let me know! **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N *hides in the corner while typing this* I know I must start every new chapter with an apology why it took me this long to update but again: sorry for not updating sooner. Also, seriously, you guys have been amazing and all the reviews/alerts mean a lot to me. I am quite happy with how this chapter turned out, so I hope it can make up for my absence a bit. Hope you enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7 "Terrible love"<strong>

Castiel was the first one to put aside the thick book he was reading, or well, had attempted to read. He had trouble focusing, both because of his proximity to Dean (damn the spell) and because of the anger and disappointment still coursing through him. He had been going over and over their last conversation for the last few hours when he decided he had enough. It apparently didn't matter what he said, Dean continued to act this was and Cas was just fed up with it.

He yawned, feeling very weary and sleepy. Which was odd, because he normally didn't get sleepy, only during that one time when he was turning human. He tried to suppress another yawn but failed.

Noticing the angel's tiredness, Sam looked up from his book. "I don't think I've ever seen you yawn before. Are you tired?" He asked confused.

"It would appear so. I believe it is the spell. Not only is it affecting my powers, it has made me feel…human. I would very much like to sleep now, if that is alright." Castiel supposed he should feel embarrassed he required sleep now, with him being and angel and all, but he just felt completely drained. Sam nodded sympathetically. "Sure, just use the guestroom. Up the stairs, second door on the right."

Cas gave him a small smile and immediately got up from his chair. Just as he had reached the hallway, he could feel the now familiar ache in his chest grow larger as he put more distance between himself and Dean. He let out a sharp sigh but continued to walk up the stairs. He was not going to be the one to give in, not this time.

He found the pulling sensation was easier to ignore if concentrated on his anger towards the hunter, but that did little to relieve his constant frustration. With clenched teeth he made his way up the stairs. When he almost had reached the door to the guestroom, he could hear the scraping of a chair downstairs, followed by unmistakably Dean's footsteps in the hallway.

Castiel couldn't help but grin a little, it felt good not being the one who followed this time. Opening the door, he could hear Dean coming up the stairs behind him. Cas turned his back to the door, not wanting to face Dean when he entered. The pull had once again become stronger and Cas didn't trust himself with remembering all the reasons why he wanted to stay away from Dean.

Still stubbornly not looking at him as he spoke, Cas asked Dean, who had finally come into the room after hesitating on the doorstep for quite some while "What do you want?"

Dean didn't reply until he had walked to the old, gray couch stuffed in the corner of the bedroom. "Same as you. I'm tired as hell. Gonna crash."

"Here?" Cas asked incredulously, finally turning around in surprise. "Yeah… well, I doubt I'll be able to sleep anywhere else with the curse and all." Dean had been taking of his shoes as he spoke and was now sliding off his jacket and Cas now noticed how he indeed had a blanket and a cushion stuffed under his arm.

Not wanting to think about Dean sleeping in the same room as himself, Cas sat down on the bed, fumbling with his shoe laces. As soon as he neatly had put them next to his bed, he laid down on the bed, fully stretched and above the covers. He closed his eyes, not wanting to look at Dean who was now, from the sound of it, taking off his pants. More rustling sounds followed and then it was quiet.

"Cas?" Dean said in a hesitant way. "Yes Dean" Cas wearily replied. "You sure you can sleep fully dressed like that? Wouldn't it be more comfortable if you took some clothes off?" Cas didn't know if he was imagining things again, but Dean's voice sounded strained in a way.

"I do not have clothes to sleep in" Cas said in a tired voice. He just wanted for Dean to stop talking and to stop saying things that Cas' brain had interpreting in a very different way than he had probably intended.

Without saying one word, Dean had got up from the couch and Cas could hear him leaving the room. Before the cold ache could spread again, however, Dean had returned, throwing something soft on Cas' chest. Castiel opened his eyes and touched the dark fabric. It was one of Dean's old t-shirts.

"You can put that on, you'll sleep better" Dean said matter-of-factly. Cas let his finger linger over the material, he knew Dean was right. Already the trench coat was feeling uncomfortable and the fact that Dean's scent hung heavily around the shirt didn't help much either.

Slowly Cas sat upright and the trench coat fall of his shoulders. Carefully he folded it and laid it down next to his shoes. He struggled with his tie for a little while, suddenly realizing how Dean's eyes were fixed on him, following every move. It made him feel extremely self-conscious and he could feel heat rising to his cheeks.

"Stop it. You are only undressing yourself while Dean is apparently watching." Not surprisingly, this did little to calm him down and stop his heart from racing. Unfortunately, his shirt was up next and his hands were actually trembling as he tried to unbutton it.

The curtains were drawn in the little bedroom and the only light came from a small lamp on a table near the gray couch, shedding its light on most of Dean's face. Cas could sense the atmosphere had shifted in the dim-lit room. Electricity was again cursing through his veins, heightened by the eye-contact he maintained as he let his shirt simply drop on the ground.

Very deliberately Cas reached for the dark t-shirt, the hypnotic feeling was unmistakably back. The one that made his feel like it was stuffed with cotton, static with electricity. For a brief moment it looked as if Dean made a move to get off the couch, but he only turned on his back, eyes glued on the ceiling.

Castiel sharply exhaled, not realizing he had been holding his breath and hastily put on the t-shirt. The tense moment had passed and Cas could feel his head clearing, for the most part at least. Cursing himself for getting caught up in the moment yet again, he closed his eyes, finally trying to sleep.

Dean, on the other hand, had his eyes still open as he laid on the worn down couch. He was trying very hard not to think. That used to be something he was very good at, but it was not working now. Castiel was lying only a few feet away in one of Dean's own shirts and the magnetic pull felt stronger than ever. Moreover, Dean felt guilty. Guilty about how he had treated Cas hours before.

He knew why he had acted that way, which only made him feel more confused and worse. It had been because Cas had been right. There had been something between them in that hotel room when there had been no curse. And there was something between right now.

Dean couldn't handle it anymore, it was like the buzzing feeling inside of him was mad at him for having treated Cas in the way he had. It was trying to make him up with Cas, like only that could make things better. He turned around a few times under his blanket, desperately trying to let sleep overtake him. But he had no luck, it only made him feel more agitated. Almost involuntarily he suddenly jumped up from the couch and made his way to Cas' bed.

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><p><strong>AN So…. a more quiet, slower chapter this time. It felt a bit static sometimes to me, but I have no idea how you liked it. It would be very very helpful/amazing if you took the time to let me know what you thought of it. + reviews tend to make me update sooner. (but not to worry, I got most of the next chapter finished already… so it should not take me too long to update this time.) Thank you for reading! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter**** 8**

"**How**** soon is now?" **

Castiel was close to falling asleep in the now dark room when he could hear Dean getting up from the couch, and just a moment later he was at his bedside.

Cas reluctantly opened his eyes, but as soon as he had, his breath hitched in his throat as he took in the sight before him. Dean Winchester stood next to his bed, wearing nothing but a t-shirt and boxer. And his hair was tussled from the many times he had tossed on the couch, attempting to sleep.

It took Cas a few deep breaths to compose himself, but after he had, he asked in a low tone

"What do you want Dean?"

He was not feeling up for another discussion, he was done for the day with trying to make the hunter understand, to make him admit something was actually there between them.

He could see Dean hesitating, he was biting his lip and he looked uncharacteristically nervous. Cas suddenly realized Dean was not sure what he was doing right now at all, which in return made him feel nervous as well.

"Look Cas…" Dean began, shuffling his feet to postpone continuing. "I have been thinking" he said after a little while.

"Dangerous activity." Cas couldn't help but mutter. He was feeling weary, his eyes were heavy and he just wished Dean would stop talking. Dean looked at him, unhappy by his non-cooperative attitude.

"I'm sorry for my behavior this afternoon, all right? This whole curse-thing, it has taken a toll on us all. I mean, it's pretty messed up." He said hastily, as he fixed his eyes on the ground.

Castiel closed his eyes, he had been right. He did not want to hear this. How it was all the curse, how Dean liked him as a person that was something useful to him and nothing more. How they never would be anything more. He knew it all already, that didn't mean he wanted to hear it all over again.

Cas was feeling tired, and even worse: he felt human. The burning sensation in his chest had not subsided, if anything it had become worse. And now with Dean standing so close, looking so annoyingly adorable in his dark t-shirt and boxer, the feeling was urging him to reach out and touch Dean. And he wanted desperately to give in to the feeling, to let all thoughts go and irrationally hoping everything would turn out alright somehow. But he didn't, he had tried to reach out before, and he wasn't prepared to get shut down again.

He slowly opened his eyes and saw Dean was still standing at his bed, struggling to come up with what he should say.

"I just don't think we should make this any harder than it already is, you know. So how about you scoot over?" Dean blurted out the words and placed a knew on Cas' bed, to make his intentions clear.

Castiel looked at him, shocked, and he could feel heat rising to his cheeks. Dean seemed to caught on to his thoughts and quickly explained. "Just to sleep together. Wait.. I mean, sleeping as in sleep, nothing more." Dean had flushed the same colour red as Cas as he stumbled over his words.

"I don't quite understand, I believe." Castiel said, desperately trying to make sense of Dean's behavior. He would always say one thing while his actions begged the difference. It would be enough to drive anyone crazy, even more so for Cas, who already had a tough time reading humans.

"We're both tired as hell" Dean began, "we need our rest, And I can't seem to sleep with you only eight feet away. This feeling… it is driving me crazy."  
>Castiel just gazed intently in Dean's eyes, trying to gauge the other man's intentions, making Dean shuffle uncomfortably.<p>

"I am not sure, I am still mad at you." Castiel replied, but he could hear himself giving in and the words hadn't come out nearly as convincing as he had intended.

Dean noticed his changed tone straight away, and even grinned involuntarily a bit as he spoke. "Alright, but do you think you can be mad at me, while allowing us both to get some rest?"

Castiel realized at that moment he would most probably regret this in the morning, if he allowed himself to give in right now. But he was tired of constantly having to fight his feelings, so much more difficult with the spell right now. He decided he would allow himself this one night. He would allow himself to finally discover what it would be like, to be close to Dean, even if it wasn't based on true feelings, on Dean's part anyway.

It was better after all, he argued, to know what it would be like, than forever staying in the dark.

Slowly he nodded yes, and very thoughtfully he pressed his back against the wall, making as much room for Dean as he possibly could. Just as slowly, Dean laid the couch cushion he had been stuffing under his arm, next to Cas' pillow. Both of them looked at each other awkwardly, as Dean tried to find a comfortable place in the small bed.

After some fidgeting with the covers, Dean laid down, pulling the blankets over him and Cas in the process. It felt weirdly intimate, lying with Cas like this, Dean realized, and yet it also felt oddly comfortable too, from the moment his head had hit the cushion.

Cas noticed that the pulling sensation he had felt from the moment he had regained consciousness, had now transformed in this contently buzzing feeling that made him even more sleepy. Yet Castiel could also feel the tension, both from somehow still not being quite close enough to Dean, and from the weight of their unresolved argument of that afternoon hang between them.

He hesitated a little while before speaking, not wanting to ruin the moment but he also knew they did have things to talk about.

"Dean, about this afternoon.." he began, but he got no chance to continue.

Dean had turned on his side and had cut his words short by placing his hand over the angel's mouth.

"Just.., Cas.." he said hoarsely, "no more arguing tonight, please"

With Dean's hand still on his lips, Cas nodded. Dean's pleading words had taken away every last shred of wanting to sort things out right this instant. All he wanted right now, was this moment, of lying next to Dean.

Suddenly he was very aware of Dean's touch, pleasant warmth surging through his entire system. He looked up at Dean, sure he was feeling the same. Dean gazed back, fingers trembling as he cupped Cas' entire cheek. The clouding feeling was definitely back and all Cas had room for in his head, was how he never wanted for this feeling to go away.

Cas leaned in to Dean's touch and encouraged, Dean moved his other hand to gently grab Cas' shoulder, pulling on it slightly, to make Cas move closer. Castiel happily obliged, their eyes staying locked as they moved impossible close together, legs and chests touching. The eye-contact only intensified the mutually shared warming feeling.

There was no urgency in their touches, no more tension left, all Castiel felt was this numbing happiness as Dean traced little circles on his back with his hand. There was no room for words, or even thoughts, both being scared to ruin this moment of peace. All Dean and Cas cared for was right now, and how right it all felt.

Dean moved one of his hands in Cas' hair, holding him close. Castiel shared one last look with Dean as he buried his face in the crook of Dean's neck, gently nuzzling the sensitive skin. Dean let out a sigh of approval, eyes closing in the process. Castiel too, fought to stay awake, wanting to relish in this moment for as long as he could, but Dean's body warmth made him even more sleepy.

Just before falling asleep Cas realized he would most probably regret this in the morning, when reality would come crashing down again. But as for now, he didn't think there was a better feeling than falling asleep while Dean was wrapped around him.

"So you're not gonna tell 'em?" Bobby asked Sam. The two of them were still downstairs, working through an enormous pile of books in an attempt to figure out a way to save Dean and Cas.

"Are you kidding me? I don't think Dean would have survived that." Sam said with a scoff. "No, let them figure this one out, no way I am getting in the middle of this."

Bobby nodded, agreeing. "Yeah, it's probably better we don't tell them that Bacchae can't place a spell of desire on two random people. That they can only amplify something that is already there."

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><p><strong>AN**

**Alright, this was one of the scenes I had in mind from the moment I started writing chapter 2 of this fanfiction. In my head it was better but ah well… Please review to let me know what you thought of this chapter? I tried to write in character as much as possible, not sure if I succeeded in that. + Reviews always make me more inclined to update faster.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter**** 9 **

"**One night is not enough"**

The sunlight slowly coming through the not fully drawn curtains woke Dean the next morning. Blinking against the light he opened his eyes and notices something heavy was resting on his chest. With a shock he realized that it was Cas' head, his hair all messy and the angel had his arms locked around Dean's upper body. Almost immediately the shock vanished, as Dean moved one hand to slowly stroke Cas' hair the feeling of how right this all felt took over once more.

Dean felt very confused too though, the state he was in. It slowly dazed on him that he was actually lying in the same bed as Castiel was, cuddling with him nonetheless. Yet it didn't take him long to get over this fact. He continued to fuddle with Castiel's hair as he quietly muttered to himself that this was all just the curse's doing, ignoring the little voice in the back of his head that began protesting. Dean had experiences very little of these peaceful moments lately, to be able to just lie here with no thought other than how much he enjoyed this.

It was not long after this that Castiel started to wake up too. Disoriented, he lifted his head and a look of confusion came over him.

"Good morning," Dean said, voice still hoarse from just waking up and sleeping as long as he had. Castiel blinked a few times as a response before it dawned on him he was laying on Dean's bare chest. Awkwardly he tried to move himself to a more dignified position. In the process he had placed his hand on a rather sensitive spot on Dean's chest and the hunter let out a soft gasp. Immediately Cas stopped moving, liking the sound that the other man had made a lot. He gave up on trying turning away and directed his eyes directly at Dean.

"Good morning Dean," Cas replied at length, leaning in as he spoke. Dean stretched out his hand and rested it on Cas' cheek as he urged him to come even closer. Castiel couldn't help but smile at Dean's urgency, completely taken by surprise at the hunter's display of affection.

There was very little distance between them now and Cas could actually count the freckles on Dean's nose when all of the sudden an unexpected voice sounded.

"I see you two are finally awake." Both Dean and Castiel turned around straight away and looked into the smirking face of Sam who was standing in the doorway.

"Sam? How long have you been standing there?" Dean asked demandingly.

"Like a minute ago, I came to see if you were ready for some breakfast bur you were …" Sam paused for a while, widening his grin. "Occupied," he concluded.

Castiel flushed a colour of red and looked down, fumbling with the bed sheets and noticed how his fingers were still intertwined with Dean's. Dean seemed to notice this now as well and quickly withdrew his hand. Dean now tried to leave the bed with as much dignity as he could, while looking at Sam like it was completely normal he had found his brother in bed touching Cas.

This failed miserably however, Dean was so focused on trying to act natural he forgot he was lying in a tangled mess of blankets, limbs and bed sheets and he lost his balance, falling off the bed with a loud crash.

As soon as Sam realized nothing but Dean's pride was actually harmed he began laughing.

"Just… get downstairs. Bobby and I have come up with a plan."

With a last glance at Dean on the floor and Cas eyeing Dean with a mix of concern and amusement Sam walked out the door, chuckling to himself the whole way downstairs.

"Are you alright Dean?" Castiel asked while he moved to the other side of the bed and hung his head over the edge to stare directly into Dean's green eyes. Dean closed his eyes for a while before grudgingly getting up.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's just get to the kitchen." Cas nodded and slipped out of the bed, beginning to search for his trench coat. He found it on the chair but didn't put it on immediately. He was fumbling with the hem of Dean's t-shirt he was wearing. Suddenly he felt sad, as soon as he would trade Dean's shirt for his regular coat, the time he had allowed himself to spend carefree with Dean was definitely at an end. Already the atmosphere had changed so much from the moment Sam had entered the room. It was as if a switch had been turned in Dean's head as Cas could see the re-found resolute look on his face.

A furious feeling came over Cas, he wasn't precisely sure who he was angry at, himself or Dean, but he knew things couldn't go on like this. He was sick of the constant change in Dean's attitude towards him, all affectionate the one moment, completely indifferent the next. Curse or no curse, he was done with being treated like this.

Quickly he took off Dean's shirt and put on his normal coat. Without so much as looking at Dean once, knowing fully well what a single look of Dean could do to him, he walked out of the door. The urge to sink to his knees was almost instantaneous. The nigh that had passed had done nothing to make the curse any easier, the feeling was only worse. Feeling weary Cas closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, waiting for Dean to get dressed and trying not to think of Dean getting dressed.

The next thing he knew was someone snapping his eyes in front of him. Cas opened his eyes and met Dean's.

"You coming?" Dean asked, making sure his gaze didn't linger on Cas' face. Without waiting on a response Dean turned around and walked off. Quickly Castiel followed, making sure there was some distance between them but not so much that the pain of being away from each other would be too much.

When they had reached the kitchen, Dean and Cas sat down at the table next to each other, not paying much attention to anything around them. A sort of unspoken truce had been established between them. Being more than half a foot away from each other caused so much agony both didn't want to endure that, but they were not talkative about it either. So they continued to sit awkwardly at the kitchen table with blank looks on their faces, not hearing a word Sam and Bobby were saying.

They only started to pay attention when Bobby waved his hand in front of their faces.

"Earth to love birds. Could you maybe focus for a second? It is your lives we are trying to save here."

"Uhm, yes. What is the plan?" Dean asked, trying very hard to pay attention and not let the clouding mist in his head block out everything. Bobby waited to see if he got Cas' attention now as well before he continued.

"Sam and I figured out how to draw out the Bacche and kill it."

This did seem to interest Dean and Cas as both looked up eagerly.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go" Dean's mind was halfway in the car already, the expectation of finally being rid off the curse making him jump up from his chair. Sam exchanged a nervous look with Bobby, one that told Dean he was not going to like what Sam would say next.

"Yeah, the thing is…Since you are still affected by the spell you can't come. The Bacche will sense her magic and we need the element of surprise. Besides," he added when he saw the dark look on Dean's face "do you really think it is smart to meet the creature that wants to drink your blood?" Sam realized his brother would probably prefer an encounter with a murderous monster to a moment more of being uncomfortable with his angel, so he was thankful when Cas took his side.

"Your logic is sound, Sam. We shall stay here while you and Bobby go in search of the Bacche." Looking slightly embarrassed he added "Thank you. I would kill the witch myself, but it seems my powers are all quite useless."

"Don't mention it." Bobby replied hastily. "This will all be over soon."

All was silent in the kitchen for a moment, Cas was playing with the buttons of his coat, Dean was stubbornly not looking at anyone and Sam looked helplessly at Bobby.

It was the older hunter who broke the silence.

"Well, no use sitting here any longer. We have no idea how much time we still got left before the witch comes for you two. You boys take care now." Bobby tried to smile comfortingly, picked a bag up from the floor and opened the door. Sam looked one last time worryingly at his brother and Cas, who were trying very hard not to look at each other, and followed Bobby, closing the door behind him.

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><p><strong>AN**

**So sorry for not updating sooner, hopefully you guys are still interested in this story. I will definitely try to update sooner. If you could review this chapter, I would be very grateful. Also, all mistakes are my own. Unbeta'd.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter**** 10 **

"**Stop me if you've heard this one before"**

The door had closed and everything was silent in the kitchen. Both Cas and Dean refused to look anywhere else but at their shoes and were sitting as close to each other without actually touching. Blood was ringing in Dean's ears, now that he was alone with Castiel there was no distraction from the aching feeling. He didn't know for how long they continued to stay like this until he felt the silence was crushing him. Abruptly he stood up and Castiel automatically followed, unconsciously brushing his arm against Dean's. The jolt of electricity that shot through them made Dean jumped and he turned around angrily.

"Don't touch me," he hissed through clenched teeth. Castiel was taken aback by the hostility in the tone but soon angered flared in him as well. Trying to be considerate had clearly not worked and the memory of the fury he had felt in the hotel room days earlier came rushing back. How good it had felt to get his frustrations off his chest, to have Dean listen to him for a change. Yet Dean's behavior had not changed much at all and this irritated and saddened Castiel. Clearly he did not mean all that much to the hunter. Feeling he had little dignity to lose now anyway, Castiel spoke.

"Dean, we need to talk." From the look Dean gave him Castiel could clearly see a conversation was pretty much the last thing on his mind right now. "Dean." Castiel began again. "About what happened in the hotel room…" but he was cut short.

"I'm not having this conversation with you" Dean shot at him before he started to stubbornly walk towards the living room. He didn't get all that far, however, because Cas gripped him tightly by his shoulder, preventing him from setting another step. Looking down at Cas' hand on his shoulder Dean thought it was best to soften his tone as he spoke.

"Look, things haven't exactly been easy with this curse, but Sam and Bobby will get us out of this." Once again Dean had used the spell as an excuse for everything and Cas felt jaded. There was no use pretending now, he was done fighting and hiding his feelings now, clearly it would make no difference anyway.

"I am not talking about the spell." Cas said as he locked his hand tighter around the hunter's shoulder "I am talking about us." Dean looked up in surprise, clearly not expecting the words he had just heard. Cas directed his gaze at Dean but found the wondering eyes before did little to calm the nervousness he was feeling.

"What I am attempting to say.." Castiel paused again, somewhere still cowardly hoping Dean would interrupt him again but the other man did no such thing and just continued to stare.

"Prior to the Bacche's enchantment, when I came to you in that hotel room, when I was expressing my discontent, my anger." Cas spoke almost mechanical now, determined to get the words out. "I thought we shared….this moment. And ever since that moment, it appears to me I cannot shake the feelings that began surfacing. I do not know what to name these feelings, they are mostly foreign to me"

Castiel hesitated, he wasn't exactly sure anymore what it was he was trying to say. It wasn't helping that Dean wasn't replying or showing any sort of reaction, he just continued to look into Cas' eyes.

It felt like the haze in Cas' brain was slowly fading as he thought for a while on what he wanted to say next. "Regardless of what I just said, I am done with putting up with your behavior, Dean. I suppose it is necessary I repeat myself again. I am done with you treating me as if I were your personal servant. You are supposed to be my friend?"

Cas hadn't meant to make that last sentence come out as a question, but it had and Cas felt vulnerable and exposed. He thought trying to explain his new-found feelings would have been the hardest part but now he realized it was his friendship with Dean that mattered to him the most and having to question that friendship hurt more than he expected.

It was Castiel's question that finally made Dean react. "Cas, come on, you know we are friends. You know how much you mean to me, how I can always count on you, how I don't know what I would do…"

But Dean had stopped talking, realizing he was saying more than he cared to. A quiet desperation took over as he realized he didn't have the slightest idea how to communicate what he was actually feeling. He tried walking away but then realized Cas was still blocking his way and prevented him from moving forwards. So Dean backed up until he reached one of the walls and found himself in a very similar position as a few days earlier.

It wasn't Cas who let his eyes flicker all over the other man's face this time, however. It was Dean who was the one actually moving forward, unable to fight the urge that he somehow had to make things right with Cas. Words had failed him so all he had left were actions.

He very slowly brought his right hand to Cas' shoulder, almost as if he was trying to console him. He didn't stop there, however, and he raised his hand to Cas' face until he was cupping the angel's cheek. There Dean froze, looking uncertainly into the blue eyes before him.

"Admit it Dean. Admit something is there between us." Cas' tone wasn't pleading, angry or urging, it was factual and surprisingly certain. Dean said nothing but suddenly turned the angel around so it was Cas who was with his back against the wall. Dean stood impossibly close and Cas was quite certain his breathing had become heavier. When Dean continued to stay silent Cas tried again "Dean…" but he didn't get the opportunity to say anything more because Dean's lips crashed to his with a violent urgency.

Dean moved one hand to Cas' hair, holding him steady against the wall as his lips continued to explore Cas'. Castiel tried to make sense of what was happening but soon he stopped caring for any logic. Dean was tracing Cas' lower lip with his tongue and almost automatically Cas opened his mouth. The kiss was heated and filled with need, and it wasn't before long both Dean and Cas were out of breath.

As soon as Dean had recovered he began kissing Cas' neck, relishing the sounds Castiel was making. Somehow his hands found his way to Cas' waist and as he put his arms around Cas he moved back for another kiss. Cas' shaking hands, meanwhile, were fumbling with the buttons of Dean's shirt. Dean thought it best to help him with that and broke free from kissing Cas to pull his shirt over his head. Cas took in the sight before him and couldn't help but immediately placing his hands on Dean's chest.

As they shared yet another kiss Dean and Cas heard the kitchen door open. They broke their kiss to find Sam and Bobby staring at them in shock. Dean's shirt was lying somewhere forgotten on the floor, Cas' hair was tussled and he still had his hands on Dean's chest. There really wasn't any way to deny what they had been doing. Dean nervously looked at his brother and Bobby.

"This is not what it looks like." He began, "it's the curse, I just couldn't fight it anymore." Dean didn't look at Cas, knowing very well how he had used the curse as a cowardly excuse, again. To his surprise Sam began smiling and then he scoffed.

"Dean, we broke the curse twenty minutes ago already."

**A/N**

**I know it took me too long to update. I've learned my lesson and next time I write a story, I will first write it, before regularly updating. Anyway, I really hoped this chapter was to your liking, it was difficult to write. I hope stayed in character and made the chapter believable. If you could give me any feedback, it would be very very much be appreciated. Also, one more chapter to come! **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N The final chapter, enjoy.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

"**When it's all over we still have to clear up" **

Sam couldn't help but look triumphantly at Dean. There really was no way out for his brother, who seemed to realize this now as well as he tried to casually pick up his shirt from the floor. Sam moved his eyes away from Dean to look at Cas. The angel seemed to be stuck somewhere in between disbelief and wonder at what had just happened.

"You know Bobby, perhaps we should step outside for a second." Sam tried to not sound gloatingly but failed miserably.

"No need." Dean said quickly, his voice gruff, and he walked to the door, pushing his shirt over his head in the process. Castiel gazed after Dean until he had disappeared outside.

"Uhm, well, I'm gonna get changed." Bobby said as he thankfully gestured at the blood on his shirt and walked away, leaving Sam and Cas. Sam wasn't sure what to do next, on the one hand he wanted to stay as far away as possible from whatever was going on between his brother and Castiel, on the other hand he didn't think he had ever seen Cas look quite this hopeless.

"Cas, can I give you some advice?" Sam began hesitantly, not knowing if Castiel would appreciate him interfering, but Cas looked up from his shoes and nodded. "I don't know exactly what happened between you two, other than the curse obviously…." Sam paused for a second, choosing his next words carefully. "I do know my brother, however, and I know how he behaves in situations like these." Confusion flickered in Cas' eyes after Sam's words.

"Situations like these?" Castiel asked. "Situations when Dean likes someone so much he doesn't know what to do with it," Sam explained. "Dean has many things he's great at, feelings are not one of those things. I can't be completely sure of course, but all the ignoring and denying is typically Dean."

"Do you really believe Dean is interested in me?" Cas asked, trying to keep his tone as normal as if they were discussing the weather.

"I think you two kissing is a pretty big hint right?" Sam replied with a smile. "Just go out there, talk to him and be direct. It's all you can do. What do you have to lose?"

"My friendship with Dean." Cas said in a small voice. "I mean….I cannot.." Cas began, tripping over his words, "Dean was the first one to ever make me feel emotion. I owe him so much." Castiel muttered quietly, though not so quiet Sam hadn't heard him. "What if he does not wish to have contact with me again if I tell him?" Sam could feel Cas' quiet desperation and looked at the angel with affection when he replied.

"That won't happen. I'm sure your friendship means as much to Dean as it does to you. But shouldn't you be telling Dean all this instead of me?" Sam flashed an encouraging smile, talking to Castiel had been the right call it seemed. Cas seemed to have regained some determination and he put his hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Thank you." Cas said before he walked out the same door Dean had, moments earlier.

Castiel found Dean sitting on the hood of an abandoned car wreck, staring off in the distance. Wordlessly, Cas sat down next to him and for a long time they remained sitting silently, looking at nothing in particular as slowly the sun began to set. Thinking long on Sam's advice, it was Cas who first broke the silence.

"I have feelings for you." Castiel looked expectedly at Dean, anxious to see his reaction now that he had finally said what he had wanted to for so long. Dean didn't turn to face him, however, and it was only after seemingly an eternity that he replied.

"I don't know how to do this," he said simply. Castiel waited to see if something more would follow but apparently Dean had said all that he cared to.

"_You_ don't know how to do this? Somehow Cas' words had come out a lot sharper and louder than he had intended and he could feel anger rising when he continued. "What about me? You have a whole life of being human, I have no idea what I am supposed to do. I never had this kind of issues before I met you." Castiel was shouting now, "You made me feel these things! Now look at me!" Cas painfully grabbed Dean's shoulder, forcing him to turn around. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself but found himself at a loss of words. He had tried and tried and then had tried again, he was done.

"Cas." Castiel didn't think he had ever heard Dean sound so weak and pleading, apart from the time he had been lying in a hospital bed, broken by Alastair. Cas' hand was still on Dean's shoulder when the hunter continued. "Cas, please. You know how much you mean to me." Despite everything that had happened, Cas' heart still leaped, but he kept his eyes cold and fixed on Dean. This was as close as he had ever gotten to Dean opening up and he wanted to see what would happen next.

"It's just complicated, you know. I mean, you're not even human! You're a freaking angel in a man's body and I really don't know how to deal with that." Finally Dean looked up to meet Cas' gaze, desperately hoping for him to interrupt and say anything at all, but the angel just remained stoic. So Dean found himself continuing, stumbling over the words in a feeble attempt to make everything alright again.

"So no, I don't know how to do this because I can't understand how the hell I got to feel the way I do about you." A defeaning silence followed, it was hard to tell who was more shocked by those words, Dean, who thought he had meant to say something different, or Castiel, who had dropped the cold mask.

Radiantly smiling, Castiel very slowly moved his hand to Dean's face, giving the hunter enough time to stop him at any second. Dean's eyes looked nervously back at him but he let Cas go on. At that moment Cas looked at him with what could only be described as love and a warm feeling took hold of Dean, so much better and so much more real than the fabricated feeling the curse had made him feel and he couldn't help but smile. As he leaned in to kiss Castiel he whispered, all defenses finally breached, "I guess we'll figure it out."

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><p><strong>AN**

**Thank you so much to everyone who read my writing. All the alerts and reviews mean the world. I would really really appreciate it if you could let me know what you thought of the ending, or the story in general. I have got a couple of ideas for more Destiel fics so I suppose there will be more stories from me. Again, thanks for reading!**


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